I am happy and grateful that …

This is the gist of a speech I gave at Toastmasters at noon today.

“I’LL SHOW EM”

This a toast to my great aunt who died in Peterborough about 5 years ago

Life Lessons, a love story, happy reunion and unexpected twist.  

She was unique with a zest for life.
Expect the unexpected

She was a private person, she didn’t tell people her business and I learned from my dad not to mess with her

She worked at the same seniors’ home in Toronto for about 25 years and when she retired they bought their first home in Peterborough. It was a their house, master bedroom and bathroom on the 1^st floor and the basement was awesome the previous owner did a lot of work 

My uncle had a camp on a lake south of Bancroft so it was what they always wanted being within an hours drive

Things went well, but my uncle died unexpectedly  mid 80’s. But life went  on. Her hair dresser came to the house, cleaners came in, a girl drove her shopping and she walked or taxied , cut the grass and did everything on her own

I took her to the lake one weekend every summer so she could see the camp. No water, electricity and NO PHONE. You went in by water taxi

She knew everything that was out of pace. Whether spotting it from the water or opening the door.

That old adage “They’ll never notice?” strike it from your vocabulary 
THEY DO 
I don’t know how many times I carried the broken water pump mounted on the broken table back to it’s rightful place out front 
As she got older it was harder for her up there but there were other relatives that used it and showed her pictures and they provided updates.

My parents visited her after my uncle passed awaqy. Mom got a little nervouse and wanted to leave. My aunt talked like he was still there. Dad took it in stride, it was his sister. When I wa over a week later I glimpsed under the bed on my way to the washroom and there was nothing there. So I phoned mom and told her not to worry. Little did we know.  

I remembered in my teens that my uncle had said people marry for lopve or companionship. As we walked around her house and she pointed out "He got me this", "He bought the that" that there was a lot of love there.

She was sick in the 80's. Mom phoned one day and said "We want you to ask her if you can take her to the doctor:"; "We?"; "Just do it." So I phoned. and asked. "No dear, I'm fine." So I phoned my mom and told her it was no. At the same time my aunt phoned a cousin to take her to the doctor. 

Around 7 years ago she developed COPD and one day had someone take her to the hospital.

NOW if someone wants to go home that’s there business NOT YOURS.

No sooner had she been admitted she wanted to be sprung.

It’s not who is right but what is right, park the ego at the front door

CCAC (CCAC Web Site ) provides PersonalSupportWorkers, nurses, medical beds if needed, there are also oxygen companies, some doctors do make house calls and there are palliative care doctors that make house call if it gets that far

She got sprung

It’s not easy  to put up with 200 feet of oxygen line 

PSWs are angels but they are also strangers and its not easy to have a stranger come in to get you up , bath you and cook your breakfast

And it’s also not easy to have a nurse popping in every other day

But they did become family

And all she really ever asked for was for someone to make her bed. No one got her up and no one put her to bed. She did it herself.

She did celebrate  her 90^th and 91^st birthdays at home

If you want to throw someone a birthday maybe you wanna ask first

Cakes are fine

Candles are fine

But if you want to light the candles then let me know I’ll video the explosion from across the street

TWO lessons learned were patience, being reactive NOT Proactive

Expect the unexpected and take things in their stride

A jar of apple sauce left on the counter for a week that they use for their pills may start bubbling and it's not turning into alcohol

The first night night my aunt needed a PSW  all night she got up and played  Chinese checkers until 4  in the morning.
And you develop new skills. Remember those old round washers with the wringer on top? Instead of draining them in the sink, stick the hose in the sump pump hole. Gravity does it in a flash.

BUT the right thing always happened at the right time. AND the right people always seemed to show up when they were needed.

With seniors it’s never what YOU think they need

We need to learn to ask WHAT THEY WANT

People do die

The night she died I found out her husband was in the trunk in her room

My parents and I didn’t know. We never thought to ask what she did. It was none of our business.

It was on a cold rainy day, the Saturday after Remembrance Day 5 years ago that her lawyer and I made the trek  to take them home.

When you phone a marina and he says his boat is still in the water you KNOW it’s suppose to happen.

She had told her lawyer what she wanted done and where. 
So we found the where and did what the WHAT.

They were together!

This is their view , I’ve added a poem she carried in her purse

Of her 4 brothers and 3 sisters I think she has the best view for eternity.

This last picture is the cabin, it’s an old boathouse someone gave my uncle for doing some work. He floated it down the lake, couldn’t get it over the rocks so he dismantled it in the water and reassembled it on shore

The text is from the final episode of the For Better or For Worse comic strip.
It ran a few weeks before she died

 If you learn one lesson in life learn that.

The block of light, mist or ghostly image by the white building wasn’t visible when I took the picture as we pulled away

Was it them saying thanks or was it “God’s Light”.?

Six months before she died she made the comment “People think they know what I'll do but I’ll show em “

She left their camp to a hunters and anglers association in Ontario which meant no family members got it.

SHE SHOWED EM

I am happy and grateful that … was the Table Topics theme at Toastmasters today. Whenever you’re upset or feeling down repeat it and make a list.

I am happy and grateful that I WAS ABLE TO HELP MY AUNT REALIZE HER GOAL AND GET WHAT SHE WANTED.

I am happy and grateful that I DISCOVERED COMMITMENT.

I am happy and grateful that I GOT THROUGH MY SPEECH WITHOUT CRYING.

Yearning tells you there is somewhere for you to be,
trust tells you that you are in the perfect place.

The perfect place for me was with my aunt.

A Course in Miracles says: 
" The goal establishes the fact that EVERYONE involved in it WILL play his part in its accomplishment. THIS IS INEVITABLE."
" If you experience PEACE, it is because the truth HAS come to you. And you WILL see the outcome truly, for deception cannot prevail against you. And you will RECOGNIZE the outcome, BECAUSE you are at peace."
"The Holy Spirit knows the situation IS as the goal determines it, and is experienced ACCORDING to the goal."
So, my aunt had one goal in life and all the trials, tribulations and events had been leading to it's successful conclusion.